Trying To Close An Open Door

The title is poetic and stupid. But, I feel that its important to deal with this in some way that does not cause anyone else harm. That's kinda the trick of the Christian life, right?! Dealing with stuff in a productive and "healthy" way instead of lashing out and destroying a room full of stuff or setting a car on fire or what have you. So, here it goes...

This is the grave of my grandfather. He doesn't totally look like the image that is on the front of the grave stone, but I understand that people do the best that they can. When I think of him and all of the time that I have spent with him, all I can do is come to the conclusion that he was a great man. I don't know if you have ever had a hero, but growing up, he was my hero. While I was a kid and causing all kinds of rebellious chaos, deep in the back of my mind, that's who I wanted to grow up to be. He was a man who always had time for you, always had a smile on his face, always took the time to teach you something. He was good at everything, and those things that he wasn't good at, he was extraordinary! You just can't top him. He worked in the coal mines, did photography, he could build anything that he put his mind to, he would always give you a hug, he made wise decisions, and when he didn't make wise decisions, they were at least fun decisions! Like for instance, he was driving his Lincoln Continental on a back road in Illinois, and I don't know if he was racing someone or what, but he ended up jumping a set of railroad tracks and busted out all of his shocks! Now, that wasn't the wise thing to do, but it had to be fun!

As he started to decline, he didn't really let on to anyone that it was happening. I can understand that he was probably scared. You only go through an old age decline once in your life. Things seemed to be somewhat OK until his 3rd wife left him. You can tell that it really broke his heart. It was shortly after this that he was placed in a nursing home. I remember the first time that I went to see him. I had just seen him about 4-5 months before this, and it wasn't the same man. My grandfather was hunched over trying to eat at a table with other elderly people. A nurse was helping him some, but every time that he tried to raise his fork to his mouth, his hand would shake and his mouth would shake. It was a struggle. I am not sure if I had ever felt sadness like that. Something surrounded me like I have never had before and it was like I was being crushed while I stood there. You find so many things that you want to say at that moment, but tears prevent it from happening. I tried to convince him that he had to walk as much as possible.
He had no concept of where he was. He began to deal with dementia, or had been for awhile. There were things that he and I dealt with in those few short months that he was there that I could never tell anyone. Things he said that seemed sane and very clear. Encouragement that he gave. Sometimes its just the way that he said things that let you know that you were special to him. And he began to recall to me many things that he thought were happening, but he always asked me to tell him if they were true or just him hallucinating them. I was surprised that he understood a little bit of what was going on.
It wasn't until around Christmas that things began to get bad. Pappaw was having TIAs, which are mini-strokes that occur over and over until they kill the person. Beth and I were running early in getting to his nursing home to go caroling throughout the halls. I didn't know it until I tried to talk with him and he couldn't talk. His tongue was swollen and he was trying desperately to talk to me. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "my tongue is swollen and I can't talk," and it occurred to me that he had just experienced a TIA. I asked a nurse to help, but there was nothing that they could do. It wouldn't matter if they ran a test or not. So I stood watching him struggling to talk and being unable to do anything about it... and there I am... completely helpless to make things better. Helpless.
I'm just curious, have you ever been completely helpless before? Have you ever stared at someone that you loved and all you can think is "he's sinking and he's going to drown, and I am completely helpless to do anything about it." Not one thing.
My hands could not fix the problem, my mind could not solve the puzzle, my thoughts could not formulate a plan, my heart could not conjure the right words, my expression could not receive a smile in response, my quick jokes could not ease the situation, my voice could not cry out for help, my eyes could not motion for resolve, my knowledge of the Bible could not come back with a form of Truth that set the predicament to rest.
Helpless. Agony and suffering is happening before my eyes and all I can do is stand there and watch.
I am not sure if I ever hated sin as much as I hated sin at that moment.
I mean, think about it... if Adam and Eve wouldn't have sinned (did what they wanted) and just obeyed (did what God asked of them) we would not have things like cancer, AIDS, and certainly not dementia.
Looking back now, if I think about it for too long, I cry.
But that's why we need Christ, right. He will make everything right.
I take comfort in the fact that Pappaw was a believer in Christ.
Sin is Hell. Let's be honest. Yet we are attracted to it with a fervor that we could never muster for Christ.
Everything will be made right. He's coming back, and I will see him again.
ONLY CHRIST make that possible. Praise His glorious grace.

Leadership >>>>-------------->Thoughts

Leadership is an interesting thing. The fact is.... everyone is a volunteer. The help that we have at our church is a great group of people. From our pastors to our welcome, to Michael who has a great heart of compassion, so much so that he greets all who roll up in the parking lot before they even enter the door.
The truth is, leadership begins within. That is what brings me to.... myself. I have to examine me. How am I leading? Are others following?
You see, the predicament stands that our church has been hovering around the 50-65 range as far as attendance goes and we can not seem to get over that "hump." This has been going on for over a year. We have added at least 10-15 new members in that time, but we find that many people want to drop off of the map. Work, school, family, I understand that these are all great priorities in our lives. But I also know what happens when a believer is separated from a fellowship of believers for too long. They get cold and calloused. They stop reading the Word and their prayer life is non-existent. It's odd when you reach out because most of the time you get excuses. Sometimes you get the truth from people and you have to respect that. They could have lied, but they didn't.
Where does leadership stop there?
I think that you can point them in the right direction, but let's face it, people do what they want.
God wants the best for us, and yet we often want what we want for ourselves... no matter how much it disagrees with God.
We would rather disagree and be empty than agree and be satisfied.
The flesh is a disease. I believe that it is normal to want to kill it. Some might say that this is "suicidal" thinking, but let's be honest... where would you rather be? On earth or with Christ?
Like Paul said it is FAR better to be with Christ, but for the sake of other BELIEVERS, he stayed with them. Philippians 1:18-26 really deserves our attention.
Our spirits long to be with Papa God. It is when that longing wains that we have to examine our walks with Him. When we miss the fellowship of our brothers and sisters, we wain. It's that simple.
But then again, we want what we want...even if it disagrees with God.
Think and act.

2009

There is no doubt that the world is changing. Many different and new things seem to be on the horizon. Everyone is talking. The economy looks bleak. We will have the first African-American President for the US. Also, there are many issues that have come to the forefront of the headlines. Right now, Israeli troops are moving into the Gaza Strip fighting against Hamas. HIV/AIDS has virtually disappeared from the headlines. Most have forgotten about September 11. People are loosing their homes because of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. STIMULUS is the buzzword of here and now. And America's taxpayers are going to be cleaning up the messes of Wall Street and Congress and Bush and Obama and Reid and McCain and Pelosi and everyone else that falls into the category of covering up for people's bad choices and removing responsibility. America has forgotten how to stand and learn. How can anyone take responsibility for their actions and learn from their mistakes if the actions and mistakes are constantly mulled over and swept under the rug? Bad decisions garner future wisdom.

So lets talk about the state of the church and its challenges. I had a local reporter ask me recently what the biggest challenge that the community of faith would be facing. I am sure that hunger, homelessness, and shameless acceptance of those who are in blatant sin rank within the top 5, but I chose a different answer. I told her that the greatest challenge facing the "faith community" (what does that phrase mean?) is the integrity of the Gospel. In fact, here is what I wrote to her:

"For our church, and because of our firm belief that the Bible is God's true, inerrant, infallible Word (and this will differ from other "religious" leaders, I am sure) the biggest issue is always the Gospel. What is the Gospel, what must someone believe in order to be saved, what is NOT the Gospel... statements and questions like these are constantly coming up and from what I am seeing, a good majority of people have it wrong, both "religious" and non-religious. I understand that this may seem like an arrogant statement, and by no means do I seek to be arrogant, but there is only 1 truth about eternal life and only 1 way and that is through trusting Christ. It would interesting to ask evangelicals (and others) how to have eternal life."

Does this seem strange to you? I mean let's be honest, the Gospel is the most important thing in the world because it brings the spiritually dead to eternal life! I would think that we had better have it right! In Galatians 1:8-9, Paul makes no bones about the purity of the Gospel. It is by the grace of God through our personal faith alone in the death of Christ alone in our place and His resurrection. Anyone who preaches anything else is wrong.

*GASP* "that's not politically correct!" Do statements like that want to make you throw up? The term "political correctness" is a diffusion device that covers up the truth. When directed at God it is verbal atheism. Maybe the reason why America has become so soft and effiminate is because of the constant cries of being offended and and screaming out that there is no tolerance. Sounds like garbage to me. The fact is that the integrity and purity of the Gospel is always under attack. It is important to understand it in the most clear and simple way possible. I encourage you to check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUe9ZgADBNQ
Simple and Clear. That's the way that they Gospel should be.